A hush Over the wind

I stepped out of the wind,

closer to faith by one page thin.

 I saw the wind fled,

deep into the sky which turn red.

I felt a little pain,

I know our memories won’t remain.

Wind comes and goes,

as the temperature rose.

I wish nothing ever changes,

so I could ride the wind for ages.

However I’d stepped out,

The wind has left me out.

I closed my eyes once more,

Hopeful for the experience I had before.

 Those eyes taught me somethings.

 Thousand worth million things.

 I miss those times fill with lies,

I despise the tears fell from my eyes.

The Third Butterfly

One, two... --- the cracks deepened on the chest.
The chaos, the hurts, the broken: once to twice after the start line.
Fine, you admit you were defeated by the god of mess,
but baby, don't you stare at the moon --- it won't be as bright as it used to shine.

millions of teardrops --- you've let them falling.
as they say, "don't deny your feeling, it's okay to feel blue"
now you look back, why you had to hear what they were saying?
Another yellow butterfly, from below he arised; they say to act nice --- you've done that too --- but your counts still ended in two.

two weeks, three and four --- what has that butterfly hopelessly waited for?
the graceful armor of yours might be vulnerable, but he doesn't know.
the heart of yours --- for a random creature, it wouldn't open its door.
How much more can you resist, girl? To you, he had bowed low.

Those eyes of yours glittered in confusion under the red moon.
so it doesn't shine as bright as before --- but isn't red better than white?
dangerous as it already is --- deep inside, you knew your resistance will break down soon
You jumped out of the ship, no armor, nothing --- think you won't drown as he might

Keep it easy, light and soft. Here laid your new friendship...
Those calls of protection, scored the ball for the first time; he won your trust.
Freedom; he could fly any second now --- he wasn't your toy to keep.
Into the basket, you ran fast; he fled faster --- everything turned into a rush.

You vowed not to count to three; he's the third you had to see.
Drop that phone calls, wouldn't you? You knew how it hurts 24/7
Face it, he wouldn't be exist in wherever you wanted him to be.
Check your equation: the results are odds, it got nothing to do with even.

Exactly fourteen years you have stood on the earth, have you felt this complete?
You laughed enough, you cried enough, you smiled enough; did you have him enough?
Hot and cold; you might have forgotten, your temperature made it clear for the heartbeat.
Same rate, two hearts combined into one; thought you didn't believe in this stuff?

Forever in difference; the story ends here --- the moon has not been red for long.
You could see how it ends, you are down low; you're a wreck.
65 days in complete, 369 days feeling wrong.
More than a year, baby, why won't you double check?

He is better on his own, his words and wings are his to disowned.
Why you keep the memories still, fool girl? Forever had its ending there.
Destiny won't changed the result, hold your breath and count; In a second you both will have grown.
One day, under the strawberry moon, forever will only be another story soon to share.

Things that make me smile in the morning

I’d done some walking,
Listen to the people talk in the street.
I feel like I’d been stalking
Someone who hardly know I’m exist

I watched some movies,
the two people beside me share a kiss.
Sometimes I just wish,
We could share that kind of bliss.

A small Chinese boy cried,
Bang his fist on the wall,
‘Cause the lollipop he couldn’t bite.
Were you like that when you’re small?

One of the cashier blushed,
When I toss a friendly smile.
I remembered I used to flushed
Every time my phone showed you dial

When I heard a drum’s beat,
or the sound of Chinese people eat,
I remind myself
That I’d put you away,
as my mannequin on the shelf.

Now here I laughed,
Drinking my Frapucinno in Starbuck.
Remember that we used to bluff
About something that is not our luck.

So here I go,
Remembering you like a weirdo.
But you know something??
These are the things,
That makes me smile in the morning.

My Best Friend (alternate title : 'For My B.F., A. Hana A.')

Saturday, November 29, 2008 at 6:26am


The clock ticking
My tears dropping
The last time we got into fight,
I couldn't sleep all night.
I drink a cup of tea
and think, 'are you still mad at me?'

Every messages I sent,
I showed that we're friends.
I don't know how do you see,
But you're everything for me.
As long as we're together,
I think us as friends forever.

I'm not a sunshine
I couldn't brighten your sky
But I try to be kind
and be the friends you need
I'll try to keep our friendship
That's the path I lead

In every life
A little rain must fall
Though our friendship hit the wall,
I'm sure we can work it out.
So have you had your time today??
Let's drink a cup of tea and smile away.



p.s. I wrote it on the next day of the fight
(which she was still mad at me,)
and the teacher read it out loud...
LOL...

He's my ONLY one (and I'll be the One)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 at 4:53pm


I still feel it... deep in my heart....
Lava in my heart about to burn up....
I tried to hide it.....
But the heat scalded my chest...
I couldn't survive...

Walked along the road...
Loneliness covered my direction...
Thought about him still evolved in my head...
I tried to scream... but no one heard it...
I tried to run... but no one stopped me...
Again... and again....
My husky voice... My hurt wound...

Blowing of the wind...
Roaring of the thunder...
Whispering of the trees...
Everything still reminds me of him...

I tried to fight back...
made him cry... made him lost...
broke his heart... told that lies...
gave him doubts... gave him chance...
But it was empty...

I'm not part of his life anymore...
and he's not part of mine...
His Princess, His Juliet,
His Fairy, His Star,
His Life, His Dream...

He's my broken heart...
Incinerated all my dreams...
Scorched all my hopes...
He's the only one...
that will stay in my heart...

Yet I could be strong and tender...
although these pains are worth and unforgettable...
I know I'll be alright...

And one day...
He will realize...
My black hair...
Dress I wear...
Smile I dare...
It's all are in his mind...

Kindness...
Light-heart...
Smart...
Pretty...
I'm the only girl that will stay in his heart...
I'll be the one...
And nothing he can do to forget about me...


...
...
...


If you still want me...
I still want you...
Every words I say...
I mean it...
That I will always love you...
I'll give you a chance...
If you'll give me...
And if this love is meant to be...
Would you please come back to me...??

Love After Friendship (Inspiration from someone's life)

Sunday, January 11, 2009 at 6:41pm

Commotion
is the only word
that describe my heart
Confusion
is the only word
that describe my mind

And that's how i felt
when I said I like you
you broke into silence
while my heart broke into two

Every messages I've sent
I told you,
I don't need a boyfriend
Or love story too
I only told you the truth
The truth that I couldn't keep.

You are my only one
Sweet, kind and fun
Calm me when I scared
An angel in my nightmare
You show me how you care
Through all the messages you've sent

The moment that I miss
was when you told me a promise
'We are good friends,
Let's keep it 'till the end'

Everything feels right
When I looked straight
right into your eyes
and you told me all those lies

As the sky brighten by sunshine.
Two ribbons intertwine,
Yours and mine.
Love is blind,
But you are the person I try to find
Though you never told things honestly
I still trust you completely

Without telling me what's the reason,
You put my hopes up,
You gave me all those chances.
In my life, you've made many changes.

Life goes on,
I've moved on
I'm blind to trust you so well,
and believe everything you tell.

But I don't care what you do
we still friends
and I still love you
This is how the story ends

Losing you

I'd been mourning for losing you....
I spent months forgetting what to do...
I'd been dumb for living in my dream,
and didn't show when my head wants to scream.

Now I've awaken from a long sleep
and had promises that I should keep.

I didn't want to torture myself anymore.
Though all I needed is to love you,
but hurting myself is not what I'm searching for.
I'll give the best to myself, that's what I vowed to do.

A Hidden Creature

I've never looked at your way before
One: Glance, two: Stalk, three: Attention
I never thought you'll be something I'm craving for.
Your smile, your movement, your affection.

We've been trying ever since the confession
Make it better, want it more
We'd made an unpredictable connection
like tiny canyons showing me how to find your door

You are everything that I always remember.
When I looked deep into you eyes,
you turned around and I wonder,
"Are you worth all my cries?"

I stop myself from trying...
'cause it's something you never do
But it doesn't change a thing...
In fact, it makes me more blue.

Now, you'll go away from me,
We haven't straighten things that come out wrong.
Oh baby, why can't you see??
Without you I can't be strong...
'Cause you're where I belong.

...

When I felt I'm done
with all those webs of trouble spider,
You come and convince me you're the one.
You only want me and not others.

You sent your proposal late at night,
I insisted myself to think, "You're wrong"
I never thought you'll be my knight,
The one who protect me,
place where I belong.

I Never.

I never meant to hurt you;
my friend, I never meant to;
but I forgot about your situation;
I forgot the pain you're going through.

He doesn't call much,
not anymore;
I just want you to know.
The scattered pieces of mirror on the floor;
just hold on and don't let go.

If scars are what he left upon your heart;
I beg you, my friend.
To let all the feelings depart;
and when you open your eyes to find that
you no longer feel amiss;
all the pain you felt before;
won't ever exist.

If it's my fault;
my cursed way of thinking;
then I'll stay with you while you cry;
I'll stay without blinking.

So close your eyes and open them to find;
that nothing is amiss;
that the pain you felt before;
never did exist.

Everyone.

I search for your face in the crowd,
"I won't love again", I vowed.
I felt a sting of hurt as our eyes met;
I guess that's the lightest punishment I can get;
for letting our love die just like that,
maybe my words didn't come out right;
maybe they were too flat.

Days go on without loving you;
at least that's what I tell myself;
you look happy from my view;
do I look the way you do?

A smile plastered on my face;
a reluctant yearn for a repulsive embrace?
A healing scar left in the past;
a love that came and went;
all too fast?

All my friends are doing fine;
but I'm the only one stuck in time;
I'm the only one crying over you,
and you still don't see the pain you're putting me through.

I don't want to start this letter;
but it's already begun.
I dream of all we could have been;
an act out of a movie scene;
Unlock my heart 'cause you've got the key.

Everyone's happy.
Except for me.

Butterfly

You were like a butterfly that landed on my hand;
you were broken, fragile, and unable to move;
so I took care of you until you could stand.

You looked around, clearly scared;
but trying not to let your emotions show;
You settle down with your wings;
since you've got no other place to go.

Who would have known love would start between you and I?
I never thought losing you would make me cry;
you were the butterfly that had taken away my soul;
I'm trying hard to stand;
but I'm losing all control.

Your wings just swept past me;
without saying goodbye,
you looked at me with sad eyes;
then flew off into the sky.

IT'S YOU

It's not about what we hope,
It's not about all our dreams,
It's about this problems we need to cope,
which had make my head screams...

It's not a problem you think,
or this tingle connection that link,
It's about the truth,
The right that I had to put.

I know I'd been injustice,
to you and our memories.
However I don't want any prejudice,
that might worse our connection.

I want to apologize,
for what I had done wrong.
I should have forgotten everything.
However, I want it to stay for long,
and hope that you'll be coming
one day, no matter what's right.

The lies, I can't forget.
The truth, I don't want to forget.
We've been playing a game,
not to make either win or fame.
It's just something we're good at,
to feel easy around each other.

You have your ego, I have my pride.
Everyone has good and bad side.
But your bad side is something I crave,
for that is what I had rave.

I hesitate before I call,
because you're not there when i fall.
Or were you the one who push me?
I don't know, I didn't see.

All I know, nothing you can do
to make me hate you.
For that is what myself had promised.
and you... are the only thing I'd missed.

By. Fadhilla Anandita.

dedicated to someone I'd wished to meet and apologize for,
Lim Hao Yang. :)

Being in a relationship means a new experience for me

Being in a relationship is a new thing for me. Even though it has been 2 months but I'm still trying to get use to it. I thought it would be easy for a boy and a girl to have a relationship together but I found out that it was harder than I thought.

To have a relationship together means that you have to keep it stable. If you couldn't keep it stable you have to tell the guy/girl that u are not ready yet.